Thursday, November 26, 2009

i will never forgive you.

you lie all of the time and i can always tell. you have a lot of my clothes because you stole them or because i let you borrow them and you just never wanted to return them because you wanted them for yourself. you're immature and embaress me. you always think i love your boyfriend when all i talk about is who i actually love. you are a bitch to every single one of my friends and i dont like it, at all. im sick of you and im sick of your shit. i swear this time you come running back, i will just laugh at you. nothing you can say or day will make me change my mind about this. you are and always will be a liar and a thief. later skater.

the days at the park.

back in the day when you were one of the people i could call my second family. what ever happened to us? FHHAATTBK.

you make me sick.

this photo is a joke. liar.

how come you weren't here?

i remember planning and planning this weekend for ages with you. to finally meet each other at beach hop. i finally arrived and i contacted you via text almost 1 million times, you still didn't reply until the next day. goes to show how much i meant too you. arsehole.

i fell in love at the sea side.

i don't believe in love at first site, but when i first saw you, i couldn't take my eyes off of you. you were my main attraction the whole 8 weeks all of us were together. i never spoke to you and i wish i did. but i remember running all over the ship taking photos of each other like paparazzi. every time you were on stage, you shone as bright as the others did. when it ended, i remember your gorgeous smile you aimed at me. the show before the last day, you waved and smiled. that was the last time i ever saw you. i was hoping that when i was departing, you would run up behind me like in those movies and kiss and hug me goodbye. but you didnt, i dont think ive cryed for so long, ever. thank you for making me believe in fairy tales and thank you for staying in touch. i miss you like crazy and just last week you told me you were moving to australia. i cryed and cryed, because i will never see you ever again. good luck. oh and thanks for taking this photo, just for me.

i hate you.

i hate the word "forever."

i hate pretending.

who are you?

what happened to being the light of the room or the sparkle of the sky?

this time, i mean it.

"your just as pathetic why would you even put those word on there, now i just wanna die because of you bye dont you dare talk back to me ever again i want nothing to do with you ever your a bitch and you always will be so FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING BITCH OKAY"

it's lovely to know what you think about me :-)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

listen up bitch. i dont want your shit and i swear to god this time will be different. you're losing two friends who are getting sick of your shit-stirring. and i promise, oh promise, they won't be the last.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

you found me.

keep smiling.

i know exactly how you feel and what you're thinking. but don't worry sweet heart, i'm here, i always will be.

i feel on top of the world.

i'll miss you, we all will.

wherever you're headed and whatever you're doing, i hope you're happy and smiling the whole way.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

i'll find you.

when she walks away from you mad, follow her. when she stares at your lips, kiss her. when she pushes you or hits you, grab her and dont let go. when she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her. when shes quiet, ask her whats wrong. when she ignores you, give her your attention. when she pulls away, pull her back. when you see her at her worst, tell her shes beautiful. when you see her start crying, just hold her and dont say a word. when you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind. when shes scared, protect her. when she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her. when she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night. when she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
when she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay. when she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth. when she says that she loves you, she really does more than you could understand. when she grabs at your hands, hold her and play with her fingers. when she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh. when she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold. when she looks at you in your eyes, dont look away until she does.
when she misses you, she is hurting inside. when you break her heart, the pain never really goes away. when she says its over, she still wants you to be hers. when she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it. stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. dont let her have the last word. always call her when you know somethings wrong. pretty and beautiful are soo much better, not hot. say you love her more than she could ever love you. argue that she is the best girl ever. when shes mad hug her tight and dont let go. when she says shes ok dont believe it, talk with her. because 10 years later she will remember you. call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her. call her before you sleep and after you wake up. treat her like shes all that matters to you. tease her and let her tease you back. stay up all night with her when shes sick. watch her favorite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think its stupid. give her the world. let her wear your clothes. when shes bored and sad, hang out with her. let her know shes important. kiss her in the pouring rain. when she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is "whos arse am i kicking today baby?"

every thing ends.

let me give my love to you, let me take your hand.
let me lay beside you, and let our bodies intertwine.
but darling understand, that everything ends.

i did love you.

i will never forget why you left, how you left and who you left with.

i miss you mo'fucker.

it was time for you to leave, so i walked you too your car. it was raining outside, so we both huddled into one under my umbrella, you grabbed my hand and smiled. as soon as we got to your car, you got straight in, turned your car on, went straight to the radio and turned our song on. you told me to kiss you several times whilst our favourite song was still playing, you whispered to me, this song is from me too you. you then said you loved me, smiled and then drove into the fog, before i could say i love you too. i could never have wished for a more perfect moment than this. but, until this day i have never been able to say i love you too your face.

Monday, November 9, 2009

i can't do this.

i saw you for the first time in two months. it wasn't the same. i laughed at every thing you said, simply because i have missed you a lot. but, this still doesnt change what you did to me and my family. i will never forget what you have taught me and i will never forget you. but i wont forget what you did, ever.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

it's been twelve years.

do you think about me as much as i think about you? do you ever wonder what happened to our friendship? why we never speak to one another anymore? why it's so awkward whenever we see each other? i miss you so much, more than you'll ever know.


this weekend was probably the greatest weekends ever. i can now say none of us talk anymore. i miss all of you, every single bit of all of you.

daddy's girl.

you make me happy in every way possible.

i don't love you. i don't like you. i just miss you, that's all.

what happened.

what happened to being good friends. what happened to getting to know each other more. what ever happened too you? where did you go? i want to know how you are, where you're heading and what's up.

of all people

whenever i'm upset, i then think to myself i have a great friend like you who will always make me smile and laugh like no one else can. you are amazing. five years down, forever to go.

happy family?

i told her she could trust you, that you would never go out of your way to hurt her. but you did, which also makes me a liar and now she doesn't listen to my advice anymore. all thanks too you.

pixie and peaches.

this day was great.

sometimes i wonder.

sometimes i wonder if this is all of my fault. why you left this town for good. why you ended every good friendship with anybody that lived here in tauranga because they were living were i was. sometimes i wonder if you really were my friend, if i really did help you when you were upset, if i really was your best friend at all. i wonder..

what are you doing to me.

what my ears eat for breakfast.

daughtry. owl city. the cab. benny bennassi. crookers. day 26. dizzee. fleetwood mac. imogen heap. framing hanley. the fray. le roux. jason derulo. basshunter. lady gaga. katy perry. kid cudi. micheal jackson. cobra starship. lmfao. boys like girls. jack johnson. eminem. rihanna. jason mraz. jonas brothers. justin timberlake. kanye west. kid rock. the kooks. kings of leon. ladyhawke. lily allen. midnight youth. nerd. one republic. paramore. marilyn manson. family force five. pink. september. shwayze. taylor swift. timbaland. uffie. usher. 3oh3. justin bieber. florence and the machine. lenka. john mayer. emiliana torrini. snow patrol. lady sovereign. pixie lott. linkin park. green day. miley cyrus. coldplay.

the night before she broke completely.

you're stronger than this.

do you love me.

darling, how do you feel?

i'll find you.

my best friend wouldn't steal. so who was it?

sound familiar?

you messed with the wrong family.

my second family.

word's are lost behind this photo. you can tell by looking at all of us, we had the time of our lives. i miss you all, so much.

where are you?

i used to be able to call you my best friend. i used to look up too you. i used to be able to come to you about everything. although we are blood and flesh, although we live in the same house. i miss you.


wake up.

time passes, even when it seems impossible. even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. it passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls. but pass it does, even for me.

raegan alana.

give's me hope.

you're beautiful.

a promise i will keep.

answer this.

what are you doing to yourself?


why you of all people?

when we met, i was scared. afraid of accepting you, afraid of being hurt again, afraid of seeing her cry like she did last time. but i wanted to see her happy again, so i had too. your love grew on me, my love grew on you. i could of called you my best friend at one stage, i could tell you more than i could tell her, you were there twenty four seven, and thats all i needed to make me happy. every time you were around, you brought that spark. you lit up the room, put a smile on everybodys faces. whenever we were mad or upset, you always knew exactly how to change that in less than ten seconds. you were great, you were my hero, you were my heart. you taught me so much and i'll never forget you. but, i'll never forget today, the day i broke completely. i thought you loved me, us, them. i thought wrong. theres so much more i want to say, but i wont, because i'm not as low as you are.

when your eyes are locked on mine.

oh, we could fill the metro skies with country air, and when you close your tired eyes i'll meet you there. deep inside of you there’s a ruby glow, and it gets brighter. there’s a rushing sound that surrounds us when we walk alone. if we could just be immobile for some time and finally figure out the way we feel, about the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks. i tend to disappear here and there, so concentrate and you’ll feel me everywhere.

what about now?

what about now. what about today. what if you're making me all that i was meant to be. what if our love never went away. what if it's lost behind words we could never find. before it's too late, what about now?


to me, fearless is not the absence of fear, it’s not being completely unafraid. to me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts, lots of them. to me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again, even though you’ve tried before. it’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. and when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think it’s fearless to stop believing them. it’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry” and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright. that’s fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in happy endings.

my best friend.

i finish your sentences, you finish mine. you've lent me your trust, i've shared mine with you. of all people, i never thought me and you would ever be so close, so close i could call you my sister, so close you are over every day of the week. you are my heart, you are my life, you are the only person i love. thank you for sharing your world with me, it's been one hell of a ride, but we both pulled through. i promise you with all of my heart, that what ever happens, i will always be here and i will never, ever forget you or the laughs we shared. best friends forever, i mean it.